Halloween in Australia

Okay, so Halloween isn't really celebrated that much over here. Not like in America at all.

Some parents like to let their kids dress up and go Trick or Treat-ing. I even saw one family attempting to do so on my walk home from the train station after uni. I'm not convinced they would've had too much luck. I saw ONE house decorated for Halloween today, and it was about a half hour drive away from my house. I'm actually glad I wasn't home around Trick or Treat time. I'm not sure I could handle answering a door to children expecting candy and have to tell them that all I have in my cupboard is brown rice, museli bars and a box of Wheaties.

Some people use it as an excuse for parties and to dress up in costumes, which is fine, if you aren't already of the opinion "hey, who needs an excuse to dress up silly and have some friends over?".

Me? I use Halloween as an excuse to indulge my love for horror movies. The problem lies in deciding which one to watch. I decided that since it was Halloween tonight, I should find something REALLY scary, and roped one of my housemates into it. But what movie to watch? In an attempt to find out what the scariest movie ever made was, I searched online for lists of the ten scariest movies ever made, found nine of them, and charted my results. Here's the top ten I came up with:

Top Ten (apparently) Scariest Movies Ever Made
10. Hellraiser
9. Alien
8. The Omen
7. Poltergeist
6. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
5. Psycho
4. Halloween
3. Rosemary's Baby
2. The Shining
1. The Exorcist

I have seen exactly.....ALL of them before. Here I was hoping that the internet would wow me with a list of movies that I'd not seen before, but no. Thanks, internet. Maybe if I expand my research to more than just top tens, and find some lists that actually have foreign films in them? I think the Japanese are pretty great at horror movies. And horror games too! Did anybody else ever play Project Zero? I think in some places it was called Fatal Frame. And just now, looking it up, apparently there is a Fatal Frame MOVIE in the works! YES!

Anyway, we ended up watching a couple episodes of The Walking Dead, and Saw. And then he went to bed and I sat at my computer and watched Unthinkable. Scary? No. Creepy? A little. Disturbing? Yes.

And, just in case anything I've said makes you think I have a personal vendetta against Halloween (I don't, by the way), I painted my nails with some ghosts.

And now I leave you with one of my most favourite cheesy Halloween songs!

Gig etiquette #1: Don't have stupid hair.

I am, by no means, a short person. I've had to stoop to get through a doorway before (it was in a castle in Japan, even the shortest person I was with at the time nearly hit her head), but there's a few good perks that come with being tall. Being able to see over things is a pretty good one.

Usually I have no problems being able to see the stage when I go to see a band play. I'm never the tallest person there, but tall enough that I can see past most people. But the other night I went to a gig where I had immense difficulty seeing the band moving about up on stage. My friend and I (he's similar height to me, which is about average dude height, I suppose) were situated behind what seemed to be a group convention of the tallest guys in town. That's never easy to see past, but one guy even more so. Not only was he tall, but he was wide as well, but that wasn't all. His hair was the part of him that was most difficult to see past.

Now, I've had hair mishaps at gigs before. Consistent dread-whipping at a Frenzal Rhomb show, a tall girl with a bun on the very top of her head, I've even been poked in the eye by some pretty impressive Liberty Spikes. But this guy...well, let me show you what his hair looked like:

Yes, the guy in the middle. Those are his super tall friends next to him, and those are his dreads pulled into a spiky ponytail on the very top of his head. Trying to see the stage while standing behind this guy was, I felt, akin to being seated directly behind Marge Simpson in a movie theater.


Anyway, apart from the obstructed view, it was a pretty darn good gig. Regurgitator always put on a great show.

How I came to go to a party as a banana hooker

So I was invited to a 21st, the theme of which was "fancy dress". I know, right? No specifications. Do you want me to dress all fancy, like with a monocle and everything, or do you want me to wear a costume of some sort? 

Originally, I thought I'd just dress as fancy as I could; the fanciest person at the party! That'd show 'em! But then I thought, no, that's boring. I know! I've ALWAYS wanted to wear a banana costume! EVERYTHING is funnier in a banana costume! And then I decided that I would combine the two, and go as a fancy banana. With a tux jacket and a top hat and everything!

So, I ordered myself an inexpensive banana costume online. I had some fancy-ish pants and shoes I could wear. My brother has a top hat and monocle I could borrow, and I'm quite good at drawing false mustaches on myself, if I do say so myself. All I needed was a tuxedo jacket. But therein lies the difficulty. Have you ever tried to find a tuxedo jacket with no size specifications other than 'it needs to fit around a banana costume'? Well, neither have I, because I was very busy in the weeks leading up to the party and ran out of time to find a jacket. 

The day of the party, and frantic for a plan B, I rushed out after work to buy some fishnet tights, threw on my heels and some false eyelashes, and rocked up to the party as a banana hooker.

Yes.

A banana hooker.

In hindsight, I proooooooooobably could've just worn the banana costume. It would make explanations a LOT easier, and I wouldn't have had to spend the night in uncomfortable shoes. Oh well, next time!

Actually, next time, I'm going to cut a bite mark out of the banana costume, cover myself in fake blood and go as a zombie banana. Maybe for Zombiewalk. 

Oh, and when I sat down, the costume puffed out considerably, as if I was now a pregnant banana hooker. My friend snapped a photo, which I (humbly) present to you for your amusement.

This photo is as good a reason as any to NOT invite me to your party

As I told my internet wife, "I'm having a WHOLE BUNCH, and they're YOURS!".